Category Archives: Personal

There he is in the desert When I open my eyes first thing in the morning and the first thought that comes rushing back to fill the void are my indecencies of the night before, there he is in the desert. When I stumble downstairs aware of and craving the sin I am about toContinue reading “There He is in the desert”

It is an otherworldly afternoon. Raindrops of light filter slowly through the leaves, then their beams angle straight down upon the earth illuminating one small piece of forest; each ray casts an aura of eternity and all-encompassing beauty upon the world … As I continue along the trail, my body in motion but my soulContinue reading “Descending the mountain”

We fear what we cannot control. But control is an illusion (we control only nothing in an absolute sense). So then, fear is an illusion. In many days, I’ve known nothing. In some moments, I perceived everything. Time is a fabric. The now is a zipper that either orders our past and future or disembowelsContinue reading “Fear is an illusion– a refrain”

The divine will of God shall be known again in the eyes of the child. And we shall inherit the earth in all its filthy glory, and we shall pass it, filthy or not, onto those after us, those who saw the divine will in all things and yet grew to know certainty; in thatContinue reading “Future shows the past”

The mind, the mind is powerful. They are drunk with the power their own narratives afford them. And heaving, man vomits his unquenchable desires, uncertain love, and unbridled fear upon the world. To wake is to be borne again into time. Before, I dreamed a thousand dreams of potential and anguish. Then I awoke, andContinue reading “An eternal unease drifts by and remembers its origin within”

A new moon rose with melancholic despair. An anxiety of a new kind is rising within the human spirit. Why does such a change scare us? We are all aware that this life is temporary, that we will die someday, maybe some day soon. But a change in certainty, in perhaps false certainty frightens us.Continue reading “A new moon rose with melancholic despair”

The saints all suffer for this, that which I gaze upon. I’m living that divine life now, full of rapture, despair, peace and loneliness. The mists cling to the form of night. Pain settles in from childhood. Memories of a sunrise with a lover shade themselves with loss. The sun hazily breaks through to myContinue reading “The Saints all suffer for this”

He stood, an old man draped in weighty years of pain, sagging against a speed limit pole, itself draped in the flowers and messages of a forlorn mother whose son has negated his life through tipsy joyriding. The man knew this not though and the grieving mother knew not the old man. Both were againstContinue reading “The Median”

“We all stand on the sad earth throwing long shadows, breath cut with flesh.” — Jack Kerouac, Desolation Angels, ch. 22, end of paragraph two. There are no long shadows in this place though, everything is dark and silhouettes cut the darkness as they writhe and bob back and forth… The songs are bad andContinue reading “The Bar”

And there was light. It so often feels as if no matter what I do as a career, or as a person, or what conversations I have or what I share or who I surround myself with or what I feel or think or fear, that it is all pointless, only ending in the negationContinue reading “Meaninglessness CANNOT exist without meaning”